Listen to Your Heart
by BandBelong
Summary: A song fic, based on Listen to Your Heart by DHT...Booth's mysterious disappearance brings up emotions in Brennan that she's spent their relationship denying, and in his absense obsessing over...time to stop hiding it from the one person who needs to know


She hadn't expected this when she opened the door. He was the last thing on her mind. Or the first, depending on how you looked at it. She'd spent the past 3 months trying to forget him, to cloud the thoughts that he plagued, and wash away the memories that kept resurfacing. She thought she could, wished she would, but as he stood in the doorway, looking at her with the eyes that knew her so well, she felt like no time had passed at all.

But it had. She couldn't pretend like everything was ok when it wasn't. He had just disappeared. Vanished. It was like she'd blinked and she'd lost him. One second he'd been there, and then he'd just left.

She'd tried to reason with herself. Tried to listen to her head, but it was so hard when her heart kept screaming as it was ripped apart. When he'd disappeared, she'd been logical. She hadn't shown emotion, pretended like nothing had happened. That the most important part of her life hadn't gone missing.

_**I know there's something in the wake of your smile.  
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yea.  
You've built a love but that love falls apart.  
Your little piece of heaven turns too dark.  
**_

For a month, she didn't talk to anyone. She kept to herself at the lab, only going in to examine remains when she was needed. She could feel him there. Everything was tainted with him. The lab suffocated her.

The next month, she decided to snap out of it. She'd tried to be normal, she'd partnered with another agent whom she despised. But she found herself nursing a straight shot of Vodka most nights. It wasn't the same without him, and she couldn't go to sleep without him plaguing her. The alcohol numbed her brain. Clouded her mind. She needed it.

It had been days ago, that the incredible anger came. Rage had spilled out of her, into every corner. How could he leave like that? Without even an explanation. She had no idea where he was, why he had left? Was it because of her? How close they were getting? Storming Cullen's office had seemed like the only way, and she had gotten her answers. Undercover. That's where he was. That's why he hadn't told her. Instead of relief, she felt angrier, more frustrated. They were supposed to trust each other. He was supposed to trust her.

Wasn't it enough that she had given him her heart? And what was she left with? Nothing. He had taken it from her.

So when knocking had come at 11:30 just as she was finishing up paperwork from a case, she hadn't expected it to be him. She didn't know what to do. How to act. The only thing she felt was anger. And hurt.

_**Listen to your heart  
when he's calling for you.  
Listen to your heart  
there's nothing else you can do.  
I don't know where you're going  
and I don't know why,  
but listen to your heart  
before you tell him goodbye**_.

She blinked, taking in his appearance as he stepped into her apartment, closing the door behind him. He looked tired, his face scruffy, circles under his eyes. If she wasn't so inexplicably filled with every emotion possible, she would have felt saddened by his appearance. She couldn't even believe he was standing there.

"Booth?" She shifted her weight onto one of her legs, looking straight at him, trying to decide if this was an illusion or not.

"Bones, I missed you." He stated simply. She shuttered as she watched him drink her in the exact same way he always had.

_I missed you too. So much._

She shut her eyes, and opened them. Lately she'd been having trouble controlling her feelings. Without him there, there was no one to explain. But right now she knew exactly how she felt. Confused. And angry. And hurt. He had no right to do this to her. Not now. Not when he'd left without as much as a goodbye.

"You're gone for 3 months, and all you can say is you missed me?" She scoffed, "You didn't miss me. You didn't even tell me you were leaving."

He looked down, and then back up at her as if he was completely aware of the mistake he'd made. "I couldn't Bones. I can't explain why."

She shook her head. She realized exactly how to handle this situation. She had to keep her guard up.

"You don't have to. I went to Cullen. He told me. He trusted me enough to tell me, since you obviously don't."

She hated herself for being this way, but her heart couldn't take it anymore. "You know that's not true."

"How could I know that Booth? You're supposed to tell me things. That's what partners are for."

He sighed, and she noticed how sad he looked. "Bones, listen, I didn't want to leave. Cullen threatened to suspend me if I didn't. There was no time to tell you."

"You didn't want to inconvenience me? Thought it might bother me to know you're vanishing for 3 months? You don't know me very well at all Booth."

He stepped closer to her, and she found herself rooted to the spot. All the feelings of being close to him overwhelming her.

"I know you well enough to know how much I hurt you." She looked up at him, hot tears threatening to spill out of her eyes.

_**Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile.  
The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea.  
They're swept away and nothing is what is seems,  
the feeling of belonging to your dreams.  
**_

He reached out, letting his knuckles graze the side of her face. She took a step backwards, crossing her arms around herself protectively. This wasn't safe. Her alarms were going off.

"You don't know that. I was fine without you." She looked away, not wanting to meet his eyes.

Booth frowned. He knew it wasn't true, but it still hurt hearing it from her. She didn't know how much it had eaten away at him knowing she was alone. How much he'd missed the sound of her voice, the way her skin felt when they touched.

"You'd be used to it by now."

She turned to face him, her eyes flashing dangerously. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"When I said I missed you, I meant it. Being away from you was like not being able to breath. I couldn't think, I couldn't move. Like half of me was ripped apart. I thought that we were different, that you'd feel like that too, but you're used to forgetting people."

He watched her face fall as she allowed the tears to quickly empty out of her eyes. Her "You don't know how I felt! You weren't there! You left Booth, and it was like I was empty. Everything inside of me was being taken away. I thought that I was ok without you. But it was like I stopped living. I couldn't handle life without you. Everything was crashing in on me. " She stepped towards him, looking into his eyes, the hot tears soaking her cheeks.

"I said I didn't need you. That I could protect myself. But I couldn't protect myself from you. And that's not fair." She fell into his arms, as he pulled her close to him, his face in her hair. "I wanted to be alright Booth, but I missed you so much, I felt like a part me was gone."

"Ssh, Ssh, it's ok Bones," He stroked her hair, kissing the top of her head softly. "God, I'm so sorry Bones. I'm so sorry."

She pulled back after what felt like hours. She'd thought about being in his arms for months. Dreaming about feeling safe and comforted. It was better then she remembered.

He tilted his knuckles under her chin, lifting her eyes to face him. "You alright?"

_**Listen to your heart  
when he's calling for you.  
Listen to your heart  
there's nothing else you can do.  
I don't know where you're going  
and I don't know why,  
but listen to your heart  
before you tell him goodbye.**_

She nodded, taking a step closer, so their lips were only centimeters apart. Everything seemed to stop, as they both leaned in closer. Like in slow motion, their lips touched in the sweetest of kisses. She kissed him slowly at first, letting the new rocket of emotions flood her body, but slow grew old quickly, and she kissed him harder, letting her tongue pry open his lips, an invitation he easily accepted.

The kiss became heated, as they stumbled backwards, her back hitting the wall, as he lifted her up so her legs could wrap around his waist, his lips assaulting her neck, running his hands through her hair.

She moaned lightly, as they stumbled backwards, towards the kitchen table. He pushed the contents of the table off, ignoring the clattering sound as they flew to the floor, as he lifted her onto the table, climbing on top of her, running his hands over her body, his fingers itching to feel skin. She moaned, as he kissed her neck, pulling her shirt down to expose her collar bone, sucking on it lightly, and then back to her lips, their tongues dancing together. His hands reached under her shirt, feeling the gentle curves of her waist, as he pulled it over her head, and yanking his off in turn, and pulling her close to him, their skin touching creating heated electricity.

_**And there are voices  
that want to be heard.  
So much to mention  
but you can't find the words.  
The scent of magic,  
the beauty that's been  
when love was wilder than the wind.  
**_

"Booth…" She moaned, the last logical thoughts flying out of her head. She ran her hands through his hair, as he kissed her stomach, his fingers finding the clasp of her bra, letting it fall to the floor as his hands and lips moved over the curves of her breasts.

Their bare torsos weren't enough as they kissed heatedly, the desire and arousal evident in their touches. He lifted her off the table, stumbling backwards towards the bedroom, as he reached for the drawstring on her sweatpants.

By the time they found the comfortable solace of the bed, clothes had been discarded in a heated fury, and he lowered her down slowly, his eyes drinking her in carefully. The light from the moon shown in from the window, casting a pearly glow over both of their bodies.

Taking in a husky breath, he smiled before lowering himself down to kiss her. "God, you're--,"

She stopped him, by pulling his lips to hers. She needed to feel him. She wanted it more than anything.

_**I don't know where you're going  
and I don't know why,  
but listen to your heart  
before you tell him goodbye.**_

Tilting her hips to him in anticipation, she moaned as he entered her, filling her completely, as they moved in a constant rhythm, the sensations flooding their bodies as they made love for the first time.

She'd been afraid she'd lost him. That she wouldn't be able to go on living, but as he held her in his arms, the moon rising slowly above them, she'd never felt more alive.


End file.
